Thursday, May 16, 2013

Can you obligate your children to date within their race?

I really enjoyed, Ms. Jenée Desmond-Harris’s piece:

You Can't Make Your Son Date Black Women Race Manners: When's the last time anyone fell in love out of a sense of obligation? Here's what you can do instead.,0

I have bi-racial children and agree that parents cannot dictate whom their children should or should not date and concur that to insist will probably back fire in the long run.

I do however want to step out on a limb and suggest that as parents we are falling short and NOT teaching our children “interpersonal’ skills, those vital elements of our own experiences with relationships, culture and family background. Not a class of on “Don’t do” and an introspection of “What happened to me and what were the consequences good, bad or indifferent”. This can assist them in developing the ability to make good decisions based on culture, values and morality (don’t be promiscuous, keep a job, go to school, go to church, don’t drink and drive, respect those around…ect) and their resulting choices to important events they traverse in their lives such as how to sustain a marriage, how to cook, how to raise children, how to be a good neighbor and citizen will follow naturally.

We must empower our youth with positive images in the unity of men and women. What good is being a strong independent woman if you don’t know how to compromise, share, forgive, love and be loved? I am not sure and this statement is based on my personal opinion but men have not evolved that much! They look for that mate that they are attracted to (a) and (b) someone that will complement their needs in the long run, sex, food, comfort of a caring environment and the sustainability of these three on the regular.
So, first, we must teach our daughters, yes go to school, be strong, exude independent and finally how to sustain relationships and then we need to teach our sons, yes respect, love, monogamy, values and how to seek out these daughters and guard them for life!

It’s not about race and parental obligation, folks; it’s about attraction and what he or she brings to the table.

Peace Diana

(c) Copywrite by Diana Mary Sharpton

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