Tuesday, July 8, 2014

"Face-On" #POETRY #PTSD #EMOTIONALPAIN #Lov4U Aretha Franklin "A Change Is Gonna Come" #MusicVideo #DianaMarySharpton


Real love is always chaotic. You lose control; you lose perspective. You lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given and that’s the secret. 

― Jonathan Carroll

I published this poem in the late fall of 2013. It is based on emotional pain which I for some reason could feel and see in a dear friend of mine due to PTSD. I suspect it’s because I too suffer from some form of this disorder as a result of violence. It is a devastating and debilitating condition. 

The only thing that can save people with this affliction is loyalty, love, kindness, understanding and a huge number of patients. It's about them, not about you, keep this in mind when you heart breaks a thousand times. Being afflicted with PTSD, I know it is hard to trust love irrespective of the level it is offered. Mainly it is hard to trust being loved because then you have to return love. This is a risk to additional pain, so one builds up walls and so soon one is in a deep dark hole. It is safe there. Is this an excuse...? No, it's just safe and easy. 

All I can say is let the hand that is reaching out grab a strong hold. Someone is actually trying to help you! Acceptance: this is actually the first step in allowing yourself permission to feel. Unfortunately, I honestly think that the holes' safety is the most difficult part of this whole battle and must be recognized as such by everyone involved. Why leave when this place never disappoints you? Never causes confusion or emotional changes. One has to learn to trust in love, again. Where pain, confusion and emotion drama are part of this process. You have to face it head on! That is the reality.

The title of the poem is “Face-On”. I am republishing upon request.


I slam; face-on, into moments laden on a white wall,
Bits of me splatter in earthen spring, the painter’s call.
Is it night or day? I can’t speak, stand or even crawl,
As light pricks blind slants in peeks; lint shakily falls.

It’s the sound of a heart that breaks, upon “real” sight,
a thunderous clap as loons ascend water at first flight.
Then a darken reality enters a mind; it takes hold,
lost in a thicken mist, chilled, wet, wintery to the bone.

Yesterday is gone at the flash of all that’s bright,
tomorrow's view hidden; slowly, I'm losing control in this fight.
Yet, inexplicably time stops this free “bleed”; instinct takes claim,
stitching a cursed, exhausted soul which now feels shame.

Diana Mary Sharpton © 2014 ~ All Rights Reserved

I am adding some soul that speaks to this situation and to my heart. The artist is the brilliant Aretha Franklin with her amazing hit "A Change Is Gonna Come"(2). The song was published on YouTube Dec 26, 2010 by jackemlyn062.

I have list the lyrics for your reading pleasure, below.

"A Change Is Gonna Come"(3)
"A Change Is Gonna Come"
(originally by Sam Cooke)

There's an old friend that I once heard say
Somethin' that touched my heart, and it began this way:

I was born by the river, in a little tent;
And just like the river, I've been runnin' every since...
He said, "It's been a long time comin', but I know my change is gonna come..."
Oh, yeah...

He said, "It's been too hard livin', but I'm afraid to die;
I might not be if I knew what was up there beyond the sky...
It's been a long, a long time comin', but I know my change has got to come..."
Oh, yeah...

I went... I went to my brother 
And I asked him, "Brother, could you help me, please?"
He said, "Good sister, I'd like to, but I'm not able..."
And when I, when I looked around, I was right back down, down on my bended knees,
Yes, I was! Oh!

There've been times that I thought... I thought that I wouldn't last for long,
But somehow, right now, I believe that I'm able, I'm able to carry on...
I tell you that it's been a long... and, oh, it's been an uphill journey all the way,
But I know, I know, I know, I know my change is gonna come...

Sometimes, I've had to cry all night long - yes, I did;
Sometimes, I had to give up right for what I knew was wrong...
Yeah, it's been an uphill journey!
It's sure been a long way comin'... yes, it has...
It's been real hard every step of the way,
But I believe, I believe, this evenin', my change has come...
Yeah! I tell you that my change has come

Life is miraculous. I think about the emotion I was going through when I originally wrote this post, the poem, selected the music and honestly all that can be said is that the right steps were taken and that dreams do come true if you are committed to them. It is important to revisit the past occasionally to see how far along we have traveled towards those dreams... Never give up on love, yourself and happiness!

Love and Peace always ~D

1.) Photography: http://allisonldoyle.com/see-the-light/
2.). Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6YCxXQ6Scw
3.) Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/arethafranklin/achangeisgonnacome.html